I would like to sincerely thank all of you who have dropped by to read the updates and also leave wonderful comments. Everyone has been helpful in making me come to a good understanding and analysis of this unusual situation I am in. Slastena has made a good point regarding the kids being the priority and the dates cancelled, trips rescheduled, holidays rearranged and the possibility of the kids not liking the new woman in their dad's life. Wow, after having read that it just sounded so unfair huh? Women do so many things to show that they are selfless at the expense of their happiness. Sometimes I wish men had this particular gene in them...they dont. Most men who go into a relationship with a woman with kids would go into it just having a relationship with the woman with or without the kids' approval. They are able to dissociate their emotions to satisfy their need. Women on the other hand mostly have an emotional spin on everything.
I did think that I could dissociate my emotions but I realized after having read what Slastena enumerated, I might not be able to. I am looking for someone to reciprocate what I have to offer. I have so much to give and I hope the person I will end up with also does otherwise, I know my insecurities will set in and I really dislike that feeling.
The irony of all this is that I have found someone who parallels me in so many levels. Everyone who know us think we are just perfect for each other but...only because he is not officially out yet. I think its God's cruel joke on me...seriously! I havent fallen for him at all because I knew all along he was gay. I see him as a brother and never as more than that. God is funny sometimes. It seriously is such a cruel joke!
So as I laugh at God's joke on me, I still continue to pray that some miracle happens and He decides to bless me with a man who will be the best person to love me and for me to love. Until then, I will be shouting to the heavens to answer my prayer!