Thursday, June 10, 2010

Blast From the Past

One of my favorite shows has to be Who's The Boss. I just found out that they have reruns of it on the Hallmark channel. A particular episode jolted my memory of one of my friends who reminded me so much of "Tony"'s character. It was the episode where Tony said, "Angela, you deserve to be happy" then the boyfriend honks at her, obviously a rude gesture, he then said "whoever it may be". Then he says "well nice roses though(given by the boyfriend), too bad they arent pink ( her favorite color of roses). She then asked him, how do you know? He replied that she had mentioned it once... This made me think of someone from my past, a friend who was always there for me. The day the episode was shown was his birthday and so I searched him on facebook because I lost his email address and didnt want to call him. I sent him a message to greet him and ironically he told me he emailed me on one of my email address which I dont use anymore.

His message was about updates on his family who I was really close to and that he just wanted to say that he was just reminded that he knew more about me than my then boyfriend, which was so true. He also said that it was an honor and a pleasure taking care of me and spending time with me... Ok I may be wrong to pine for this guy but he used to say things like "oh I like that top, you wore it 4 years ago when we went to this restaurant" . He's not gay, he actually was such a hunk! The reason why I shut off that falling for him switch simply because I was scared he would hurt me. I knew all the women he went out with, slept with etc. We were best of friends. Ok I miss him. He did like me but I was just too scared and I was loyal to my cheating ex boyfriend.

Ok, so where am I going with this you ask. I just wanted to share that sometimes its nice to take a chance on love and risk being hurt than regret not knowing what could have been. This man has taken care of me and loved me better than anyone has. I just felt like I wasnt the hottie he usually goes for hence the fear of infidelity. However, as Slastena has said there are really bad geeky looking men out there, I dated one. So if there was something to regret this would definitely be one of them. He did tell me before he got married that he just wanted to tell me, "the woman that ive always wanted was right in front of me but I guess you were never meant to be mine" Yes my heart bled. I didnt want to respond and complicate things so I said "congratulations and I wish you happiness", hung up the phone and that's that.

What if? Yeah what if's are merely blasts from the past that can never be. That is a sad realization and boy is it a painful one!

Thanks for lending me your eyes ladies! I really needed to vent! Dont worry I wont get myself in trouble and continue communicating with him =) like I said the past that can never be!

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