Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Ayayay!

So I ended up going out with Mr. Wonderful last night. There was an event that I was going to and he wanted to join in. His schedule was hectic! He ended up able to catch up to the dinner event. It made me smile. He really had a long and tiresome day at work but managed to drive almost an hour just to be at there. I honestly had been insisting that we just see each other at a later time since there will be many more events like that one but he really insisted. So I am not sure if it was the food or me that was the reason for still going LOL. By the way, the night before he was on his way home from driving the kids back to their mom and he asked me if there was anything open around town after 9 which was the time he would be where I lived. I found a restaurant chain that was so I said there was this place thinking he needed a stop over since the drive was long. So I agreed to meet up with him at the restaurant around 9 and when I saw him I thought he was going to have dinner...he just wanted some dessert and a drink and basically just wanted to spend time together. Ok, I honestly didnt know what to feel. I am just dying thinking why does he have to be in a complex situation? So thats when I started to try to prevent him from going to the event by saying its too far for him to drive to, that he will be late for the event etc. but the man asked me not to give up on him and persisted to make an appearance! How do you not just fear for your heart????? hahaha Oh geez! really!!! I am looking forward to the day I leave for a trip so I can clear my head. I am scared to like him. Really scared!!! I know I should be. I am really quite confused though, he goes to great lengths to see me but he has never even attempted to kiss me! I just noticed that his farewell hug last night lingered a bit longer and was quite tighter than usual. I dont know ladies!!! Life would be so nice if...

Thanks again for allowing me some of your time my dear ladies!

7 comments:

  1. Cece- just go and do ..hmm.. you know what. :)))If he is great ( he , probably is, hey, he fathered 3 kids somehow), then you know he might be the one. If it does not work, then you'll stop liking him and won't invest anymore of your precious time pondering over the whole kaboodle.:)

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  2. @slastena: hahaha you are too funny! He is but when in doubt...dont! right? So for now its a dont. God scheduled me to have my trip at the right time. So we will see what comes out of absence hahaha Thanks again for your time! Have a great week!

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  3. Hi, this is me again (the one who went into a similar situation dating a divorced man with kids, but finally married a single guy). I see myself back in the day as you tell about what is going on for you. Word by word. After reading this, I realized one reason I fell in love was all the magic of the courtship, right? His interest, his persistence in pursuing me, the going out of his way and extra-attention, how much he invested in starting the relationship and how much faith he had in it. He was a prince! But as I read this, being out of that relationship, I wonder how much of that was also explained by his position... he knew he was divorced, he new that was a complication, so he had to do more to tilt the balance in his favor than a person without any other commitments. Once the relationship moved forward, he was a person with nice details, but nothing out of ordinary.
    I think this man has already a spot in your heart, but take it with calm, get to know him more and his lifestyle, find out more how his other priories could interact with yours...of course you can do it in a relationship as I did... but looking back, it would have also been possible to do get more exposure to it before starting

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  4. One more thing. Even when that was a relationship that was a serious relationship (4 years), it had a positive influence in my life and has much to do with the person I have become (he was more mature than guys my age, so I learned from his perspective), it ended well (I would say the age difference had more to do with it, different stages of our live?), there was not drama... I have to emphasize, that even with all that, I honestly can say that it doesn't compare to a relationship between two free persons. I can tell I underestimated that back in the day. I have such a fulfilled plentiful live with the person who is now my husband (I guess that's why we married). I think that the biggest lesson for me after all this was that thanks God there is not such thing as "He is the perfect match for me. I won't find that anywhere else". There are. Plenty. Who knows, maybe I see that now because I have gone through all of it and can look in retrospective and reflect. But it is wiser people to learn from others' experiences. I remember Oprah once mentioned she had a similar experience and I could not agree more with what she said about it (maybe you may want to check on that?). Send you my love.

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  5. @anon8:50am: How I wish you were nearby to talk to =) I am sincerely grateful for your well thought of comment. It never dawned on me that the persistence stems from wanting to tilt it in his favor. The strangest thing is that because he is only 5 years older than me, its quite difficult to see the reality that he is divorced with kids. I just see him like a single guy who broke up with the person he had a relationship with. Sometimes I am reminded he has kids. I guess growing up when you say divorced, you think OLD, chubby and balding =) When they appear as images of someone who I would date, the title doesnt sink in as much. Maybe your point is what makes me really take this slow. I am quite unemotional as compared to how I usually am. When he does nice things that show his persistence, it doesnt really hit me until I think of it after. Its like I am trying to be very apathetic with sweet gestures and think of it as friendly but at the end of the day when I look back it does manifest as heartwarming. I am really very thankful that you gave me that perspective. now I dont feel that special anymore and would find it easier to stop myself from falling for him. I do have to get to know him more. I honestly havent picked his brains to a maximum. Its only been two weeks, pure conversation, no kissing etc. =) I think that is slow right?

    Again, thank you, thank you, thank you! God is good! You did give me such a great perspective! God bless you and your husband with continued happiness!

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  6. I know, there are so many stereotypes about divorced men... and then you find one that is nice, good person, even good father, and you genuinely think he just got bad luck... that's what makes the decision difficult... yet still you it is different from a single person, with different (I would say additional) challenges. So, take your time to get a real sense of what comes with it.

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  7. @anon12:14pm: I know I really do need to figure this man out first. I have been an idealistic person all my life. Raised Catholic, acted mostly like a traditional Catholic so just imagine how different this situation is for me. My idealism hasnt gotten me anywhere thats why I am giving this man a chance. He came around the time when I had learned to outgrow years of tradition. Slow is the way to go. I also have run into bad circumstance in the past which is why I am more understanding of others. I will take your advice and do know I really, really appreciate it! I will keep on blogging about this I hope you wont get tired trying to guide me. You are an angel! Have a great weekend!

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